Friday, 25 September 2009

7 Quick Takes


Having a multi generational family is the coolest thing ever. I hadn't anticipated this back when I started out having babies. I couldn't imagine having teenagers and babies. Well, I probably just couldn't imagine having teenagers!
Now I think the combination of teenagers and babies is utterly perfect. For parents, for the babies and for the teenagers. It's win win win.

Here's why:


It was Honors birthday on the 18th September.
Goodness me, time flies. How she has grown.

It was a bittersweet day however. I'm hoping that future birthdays won't be so laden with complex emotions as this one was.

I do think that being almost exactly as pregnant as I was when she was born, and Olivia died, has brought those memories into much sharper focus.
I Cried alot remembering the mixed emotions of this day:

And this:

And then I woke up at 3am with a cracking headache and a paralysing attack of night terrors that something would go wrong this time too.

There were very lovely moments too though. We are so grateful to have Honor, and I don't want her birthday to be overshadowed with loss. In reality, nothing is lost. There was no mistake.
With God, death is not a disaster. Olivia is gloriously
But I miss her and sometimes I sigh and wonder, if she was here...
Most of the time though, I am busy enough living in the present moment.
And there is so much sweetness in that.


In my slightly crocked condition ( both emotionally and physically) it was probably very optimistic to imagine that I could turn out a fabulous blogworthy cake.
This was Honors birthday cakewreck:

It collapsed when I opened the oven too early and, well, it all went down hill from there.
My friend said that the collapse was so perfect that it made the cake look like a nest, so I threw some blueberries in there, and then squeezed some lurid pink icing around haphazardly, and then...actually then I started crying again.
Pregnancy hormones are potent and not to be trifled with.


Changing tempo...

A childrens 'hymn' to the President. Is this sweet, or is it creepy?

I have seen this on a few blogs lately ( Mama Says and MommyLife) and wanted to air it here. I found the almost verbatim lifting of some of the lyrics of that old childrens hymn 'Jesus Loves The Little Children' rather, um, 'icky'.


"Jesus loves the little children

All the children of the world

Red and yellow

Black and white

They are precious in His sight."

He said red, yellow, black or white All are equal in his sight"

Depending on your perspective, I suppose this will either make you go "ahh" or "ew".

Come to think of it, I've never liked that old childrens hymn either.

But the slightly 'Obama Messiah' flavour of the lyrics reminded me of this:

Who buys this stuff?


And just to show how much more sage and deep our political take here in the UK is, here is Hip Hopper Dizzy Rascals thoughts on the election of TFBPOTUSA*.

(*The First Black President Of The USA)


Since I'm on a bit of a political roll , here's a video I saw on MommyLife that I wanted to show my children. It's a commentary on the 'branding' of the American President.

I found the observation about the ubiquitous 'O' really interesting. That 'O' is everywhere. Still. And it is, to me at least, somewhat redolent of those regimes whose objective is to imprint the lordship of the Dear Leader deep in the psyche of an acquiescent populace.

Personally, I was very enthusiastic about Obama when he first came to international attention as a contender for the US top slot.

That waned pretty quickly when I realised how manipulative the whole business of image making is. And the extent to which it seemed Obama had become a brand.


I feel we have been here before, to a lesser extent, with Tony Blairs administration which also sang the 'Hope and change' theme, but to the the of 'Things Can Only Get Better''.

Back then, it lifted my heart. These days, I'm a little more jaded.

( "Quick Takes" LOL! If you want actual Quick takes visit Conversion Diary)


  1. Oh, friend, I'm sorry you had such a difficult day this week.

    Have you seen this?
    The Moment of the Rose

  2. Oh Clare... what beautiful but heartbreaking photos... Hang in there.

  3. I recently had a friend ask me what we do to commemorate our first child's birthday since she died as a newborn. I think she was looking to offer advise to another friend facing the same anniversary. I struggled to come up with an answer because I would assume each family grieves a loss or celebrates a life differently. In nine years, I still haven't found a way that feels like something worthy of my Rebecca. I couldn't imagine honoring a lost child while celebrating another year at the same time. Thanks for sharing about your situation.

    On a lighter note, what a blessing to enjoy teens and babies together! I love when you post photos of your children.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. (Oops, some typos in the comment above. Trting again.)

    Hi J
    Yes. It's not easy to find the best way to remember the loss of a baby. And I know exactly what you mean about the difficulty of finding a way of celebrating Rebeccas life in a way that feels 'worthy' of her.

    I have met the lady who set up the Obstetric Cholestasis support group ( she now works at the hospital I attend. She is a non medical expert in OC, and she helps with a big research project they are undertaking. I think she also has a counselling role) She lost TWO daughters before the OC was identified. I cannot imagine. She has two living sons. But the loss is just so great. She is a wonderful woman, very very wise and sensitive. Just looking at her makes me want to cry, partly out of identification with her, and partly because kindness and warmth seems to make me cry.

    I asked her this question ( about remembering the lost baby) and she said that she and her husband would have a glass of champagne and a special meal on the anniversaries of both their daughters births.
    I think it took her some years to be able to do this though.

    I am intending to set aside September 15th, because in the Catholic liturgical year it is the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. So it seems like a good day to just set aside to allow myself to be sad and reflective.

    But really, I don't think there is any getting away from the reality that Honor and Olivias birthday will always be tinged with some heaviness of heart for me. As Rebeccas will for you.
    Perhaps it's just a matter of getting used to it.