Saturday, 29 May 2010

Thirteen and counting!

I came across this video on Fr Boyles blog Caritas in Veritate.
It rang some bells at the beginning because I recognised the family name, but as I watched I realised I know this family, at least some of them, in a 'friends of friends' kind of way.  I'd heard about the triple bunk beds and was curious about them so I was pleased to see them in this video. I can't imagine changing the sheets in the top bunk is much fun, or maybe it is.
I've met the mother a few times, and honestly, she's luminously beautiful and serene. Not at all the down trodden, harrassed beast of burden that, as a teenager, I was warned childbearing would turn me into.
It's a lovely little series of snapshots of life in a very large family.
You won't see this kind of thing in the dreary mainstream media which prefers to caricature large families as being those of feckless, benefit cheat parents spawning feral, lawless children. Nor will you see it in building society ads where the marketing mans presentation of the successful, happy family rarely strays further outside the prescribed mother, father, daughter, son combo. A stylish,  handsome and smiling foursome,  usually engaged in some outdoor pursuit, cycling, picnicking or running hand in hand. *yawn*.
If you're bored of these one dimensional  cartoons, here's a real family to make you smile, enjoy!

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Babies and sleep

I've been busy lately. Busier than the usual sort of busy even. Marie-Aibhlinn has got to the age when things get a bit livelier and she needs more than just to be cuddled and fed.
I find newborns a breeze mostly, and I don't really mind being disturbed in the night for feeds either, mostly because I have been fortunate enough to have babies that feed well and then fall back to sleep without too much fussing.
When Marie Aibhlinn is not in the bed with me, I keep her in an "Arms Reach" bedside cot that was loaned to me by my friend Elizabeth.
I have always slept with my babies. The crib was mostly a pretty adornment with it's frills and furbelows.  Practically speaking it did have some uses. It was a handy 'cotside', and was also used to store my night time reading material, muslins, hand cream, lip salve, bottled water and other sundry items, but hardly ever the baby it was designed for. A midwife friend and ex colleague used to laugh at this as she said it reminded her of the time she worked in Malawi and the W.H.O fund for something or other supplied cribs to all the new mothers in her district. When she visited them at home, not one of these mothers were actually using the cribs for the babies. Apparently they mostly used them to store the pots and pans.

When I had my first baby 20 years ago I had never heard of co-sleeping. At night I would put him down in the moses basket and spend the next hour or so getting up and down to peep my head over the frills and check that he was still ok. I hated that I couldn't see him unless I got up and looked over the top. Putting him out of sight, even though he was right beside me, just seemed to violate a powerful natural instinct and it made it hard for ME to settle. Eventually sheer tiredness would put a stop to my constant peeping and I'd fall asleep myself. At the next feed, in the small hours of the morning, I would happily lift him in to me and was too sleepy and cosily content with him curled up beside me to bother  to put him back. Before long I realised that I'd get a better sleep if I skipped the moses basket stage altogether.
Later I learned that this is referred to as co-sleeping and that some people get very agitated about this being either a very bad thing or a very good thing. Some people dismiss co sleeping as a faddish concept or an ideology. In my opinion it is just common sense and I have to believe that the practice of separating babies from their mothers when they are sleeping is, from an historical perspective, considerably more faddish and novel.
But whatever, I just love waking up next to her.

Dr Sears writes very well about co-sleeping here. For anyone interested in such matters it's a worthwhile read.
He identifies 7 benefits of co-sleeping medical and developmental. Here's a snip from that article:


1. Babies sleep better
Sleepsharing babies usually go to sleep and stay asleep better. Being parented to sleep at the breast of mother or in the arms of father creates a healthy go-to-sleep attitude. Baby learns that going to sleep is a pleasant state to enter (one of our goals of nighttime parenting). Babies stay asleep better. Put yourself in the sleep pattern of baby. As baby passes from deep sleep into light sleep, he enters a vulnerable period for nightwaking, a transition state that may occur as often as every hour and from which it is difficult for baby to resettle on his own into a deep sleep. You are a familiar attachment person whom baby can touch, smell, and hear. Your presence conveys an "It's OK to go back to sleep" message. Feeling no worry, baby peacefully drifts through this vulnerable period of nightwaking and reenters deep sleep. If baby does awaken, she is sometimes able to resettle herself because you are right there. A familiar touch, perhaps a few minutes' feed, and you comfort baby back into deep sleep without either member of the sleep-sharing pair fully awakening.
Many babies need help going back to sleep because of a developmental quirk called object or person permanence. When something or someone is out of sight, it is out of mind. Most babies less than a year old do not have the ability to think of mother as existing somewhere else. When babies awaken alone in a crib, they become frightened and often unable to resettle back into deep sleep. Because of this separation anxiety, they learn that sleep is a fearful state to remain in (not one of our goals of nighttime parenting).
2. Mothers sleep better
Many mothers and infants are able to achieve nighttime harmony: babies and mothers get their sleep cycles in sync with one another.
Martha notes: "I would automatically awaken seconds before my baby would. When the baby started to squirm, I would lay on a comforting hand and she would drift back to sleep. Sometimes I did this automatically and I didn't even wake up."
Contrast sleepsharing with the crib and nursery scene. The separate sleeper awakens – alone and behind bars. He is out of touch. He first squirms and whimpers. Still out of touch. Separation anxiety sets in, baby becomes scared, and the cry escalates into an all-out wail or plea for help. This piercing cry awakens even the most long distance mother, who jumps up (sometimes out of the state of deep sleep, which is what leads to most nighttime exhaustion), and staggers reluctantly down the hall. By the time mother reaches the baby, baby is wide awake and upset, mother is wide awake and upset, and the comforting that follows becomes a reluctant duty rather than an automatic nurturant response. It takes longer to resettle an upset solo sleeper than it does a half-asleep baby who is sleeping within arm's reach of mother. Once baby does fall asleep, mother is still wide-awake and too upset to resettle easily. If, however, the baby is sleeping next to mother and they have their sleep cycles in sync, most mothers and babies can quickly resettle without either member of the sleepsharing pair fully awakening. Being awakened suddenly and completely from a state of deep sleep to attend to a hungry or frightened baby is what leads to sleep-deprived parents and fearful babies.
3. Breastfeeding is easier
Most veteran breastfeeding mothers have, for survival, learned that sharing sleep makes breastfeeding easier. Breastfeeding mothers find it easier than bottlefeeding mothers to get their sleep cycles in sync with their babies. They often wake up just before the babies awaken for a feeding. By being there and anticipating the feeding, mother can breastfeed baby back to a deep sleep before baby (and often mother) fully awakens. A mother who had achieved nighttime-nursing harmony with her baby shared the following story with us:
"About thirty seconds before my baby wakes up for a feeding, my sleep seems to lighten and I almost wake up. By being able to anticipate his feeding, I usually can start breastfeeding him just as he begins to squirm and reach for the nipple. Getting him to suck immediately keeps him from fully waking up, and then we both drift back into a deep sleep right after feeding."
Mothers who experience daytime breastfeeding difficulties report that breastfeeding becomes easier when they sleep next to their babies at night and lie down with baby and nap nurse during the day. We believe baby senses that mother is more relaxed, and her milk-producing hormones work better when she is relaxed or sleeping.
4. It's contemporary parenting
Sleepsharing is even more relevant in today's busy lifestyles. As more and more mothers, out of necessity, are separated from their baby during the day, sleeping with their baby at night allows them to reconnect and make up for missed touch time during the day. As a nighttime perk, the relaxing hormones that are produced in response to baby nursing relax a mother and help her wind down from the tension of a busy day's work. (See
5. Babies thrive better
Over the past thirty years of observing sleepsharing families in our pediatric practice, we have noticed one medical benefit that stands out; these babies thrive . "Thriving" means not only getting bigger, but also growing to your full potential, emotionally, physically, and intellectually. Perhaps it's the extra touch that stimulates development, or perhaps the extra feedings (yes, sleepsharing infants breastfeed more often than solo sleepers).
6. Parents and infants become more connected
Remember that becoming connected is the basis of parenting, and one of your early goals of parenting. In our office, we keep a file entitled "Kids Who Turned Out Well, What Their Parents Did." We have noticed that infants who sleep with their parents (some or all of the time during those early formative years) not only thrive better, but infants and parents are more connected.
7. Reduces the risk of SIDS
New research is showing what parents the world over have long suspected: infants who sleep safely nestled next to parents are less likely to succumb to the tragedy of SIDS. Yet, because SIDS is so rare (.5 to 1 case per 1,000 infants), this worry should not be a reason to sleep with your baby. (For in depth information on the science of sleepsharing and the experiments showing how sleep benefits a baby's nighttime physiology.
Read more here.

Friday, 21 May 2010

The Pope, our friend, his cake and the baby.

A friend of ours made this video promo for the upcoming visit of the Pope:




Good innit?
And here is the culprit the face behind the talent, in a cassock, with an armful of baby cuteness.
Meet Guy...
 And if it wasn't enough that such a peachily fresh faced youth could be so gosh darned smart on the iMac, here's the cake he made for his mothers birthday:

Hmmm. Pretty good.  He's young, but he's getting there. Give him time, Rome wasn't built in a day.

And this, just for contrast inspiration,  is the one I made for Honor's first birthday:

Stick with it Guy, one day you'll be decorating cakes to this intimidating standard.


...What?

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Pro Life images blog

This blog is providing free pro life images and making them freely available for use on blogs, website, facebook etc.
( Hat tip: the excellent Love Undefiled )

Thursday, 6 May 2010

Election day rap

Today's the day.
I'm still confused.
Thinking Love No Twaddle sums up my feelings quite well here.
There isn't a party that I can really get behind at the moment. The Labour government have really disgusted me with their  latest attempts to become the uber parent of our nations children and I long to see the excellently named Messrs Balls and Badman, and all their ilk, given the bum's rush once and for all.
As a child of Irish immigrants, who still remember that the proper name of the Tory party is the Conservative and UNIONIST party, voting Tory is typically anathema. My early twenties were all about the miners strike and "keeping the GLC working for London" and Billy Bragg and Hank Wangford and The Boothill Foot Tappers and The Men They Couldn't hang, and the general coolness of being young and optimistic .  But times and social mores have changed, and it seems to be a matter of choosing the least of three evils now.
I've cheered myself up by ordering a huge Papal flag on Ebay which I intend to hang out at the front of our house to welcome our German Shepherd to London in September.

My son Dominic showed me this today. It's  very clever.

Monday, 3 May 2010

Euthanasia poll

  It just takes a couple of seconds. Go vote for life now, here.
( HT Hermeneutic of Continuity )

Sunday, 2 May 2010

"They'll just repeat what they're told"

Sinead O'Connors ex, John Waters, is an Irish writer . He has written a number of books, and is ( or was until recently) a columnist in the Irish Times. He has advocated for the rights of fathers in Irish society, particularly in situations where the family breaks down. He finds blogging and bloggers stupid and pointless
and, styling himself as a neo Luddite, eschewed ( for a time) email and internet. He has written plays for radio and stage, penned an entry for the Eurovision song contest and describes himself as " uneducated in any acceptable sense".
In 2007 his book Lapsed Agnostic  told the story of his journey through faith, agnosticism and back.
His latest book is called Beyond Consolation ( Or How we We Became To Clever For God, And Our Own Good)
I've heard dribs and drabs of his story here and there, and have been quite fascinated by him. Partly because of his relationship with Sinead O'Connor who is such a complex, maddening  mixture of outrageous beauty,  tenderness, talent and flamboyant, attention seeking craziness.

It seems that John has, in the way of so many others, encountered the church properly only after first walking away from it. Because I relate to this it stirs my curiosity further,  and so I was really interested to read this interview he did with Joanna Bogle in the Catholic Herald.
He describes his observations of a culture that is  deaf and blind to anything that opposes the  received secular articles of faith. A culture of pseudo intellectualism that fails to really listen and steadfastly refuses to have its own assumptions challenged. 

"They’ll just repeat what they are told – that the Pope insulted Muslims or whatever, and they don’t want to know any more. They don’t want to be challenged. I remember when he spoke out about condoms and Africa – well, I’d been in Uganda and knew that what he said was true, and the facts on the ground there proved it. But when presented with this information on a radio debate, people just didn’t listen, didn’t want to know.

And all of this is being conducted in an arena which is provided by the media, so in a sense it’s hostile. I don’t mean that there is a deliberate attempt to make it so – I just mean that all the assumptions are entirely secular.”

It’s almost comic, he noted. “No one wants to read what the Pope has actually said, his speeches, his books – they’ll even tell you that they don’t need to do so. They have just been given a narrative, and they accept it and stick to it, and that’s that. There’s no openness, no opportunity to dialogue.”

He discusses his thoughts on the future of the church in Ireland, which he sees as being bleak in the short term:
“But perhaps it’s like a garden that’s been overgrown with weeds. Pulling them up by the roots is a dirty messy business but it’s necessary for the garden to bloom and grow in the future.”

One major problem, he believes, is that the generation of people now generally running things in the West, the “baby boomers”, have managed to combine both the holding of power with the language of opposition."
Who knows, he may even change his mind about blogging.
Anyway, it's a  good read.
Get it all here.
 

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Laddie GaGa

Take it away boys...



Which reminded me of this creative  rendering of Amarillo by the Royal Dragoon guards:



Crazy Limeys.

Bless 'em all, bless 'em all
The long and the short and the tall


Stay safe chaps!
(HT Terry Nelson)